«V for vagina»

Tra due giorni ci sono gli Oscar. Chissà se Natalie Portman vincerà. Ha già vinto il Golden Globe.

A presentare la serata dei Globe c’era Ricky Gervais, che ha cercato di rendere la sua partecipazione indimenticabile con battute come

I Love You Phillip Morris stars Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous scientologists … Probably, my lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.

oppure

I haven’t even seen The Tourist. Who has? There’s this ridiculous rumor going around that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That’s rubbish. they also accepted bribes.

e altre ancora che hanno fatto arrabbiare molti (qui c’è un elenco).

Gervais era grasso poi è dimagrito. Per gioco si è messo a scrivere sul suo blog un copione a James Franco e Anne Hathaway che domenica presentaranno gli Oscar:

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.

AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…

(Nervous laughter)

He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…

JF
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

(Applause)

That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.

AH
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”

(Laughter)

(qui c’è tutto)

Zach Galifianakis è ancora grasso, anche se sta dimagrendo, se mai ci fosse un comico antipatico per gli Oscar vorrei tanto lui. Per vedere che faccia fa Natalie Portman.